Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

People whose opinions matter to you the most can hurt you the most. With what they say, and with what they don’t say. So much power over you and how you see yourself. In this respect, the deaf are blessed never to hear harsh words and the mute even more so, never to utter them.

Ironically, just like laughter, the sound of a breaking heart resonates, heard thousands of miles away.

Love no one, and be loved by no one.

Catch yourself when you fall.

Stand on your own two feet.

Believe that the sun has risen today for you and for you alone.

This is your life.

The only opinion that should matter is your own, the only strength from within.

Expect nothing of others and live free.

I’ve never really been into all the Valentine’s Day hoopla but I don’t forsake those who go all out to celebrate it either. In fact I find it enjoyable to watch others fuss about this “special day”. I even know someone who received a bouquet of Ferrero Rocher. Yes, a bouquet. Yummy, right?! To me, it’s like Halloween, when people don’t fail to make a big deal out of everything the day represents. Only instead of spook, there’s romance in the air. Instead of ghosts and spirits, there are flowers and chocolates. And instead of the predominance of the color black, there’s an explosion of everything RED. It’s the perfect excuse to be cheesy, and vulnerable, and to do the most unbelievably embarrassing things that being madly in love tends to make you do. And then tomorrow, you can always plead temporary insanity and blame it all on the fact that it was Valentine’s Day. (just like the morning after drinking too much alcohol and “pretending” you don’t remember anything you said or did the night before..hahaha)

So spread the love people. Spread the love. Because today, you’re covered.

It is indeed a world of contradiction.

You need the bad to see the good.

You need fear to be brave.

You need to hurt to be stronger.

You need to suffer to be saved.

Time moves so fast when you want it to slow down, and yet it can move at a snail’s pace when you just want to get to the finish line.

Is it irony, or castigation? Is this the only way to live and learn?

“In all places, in all seasons, time teaches us in persuasive reasons. Love expands her light and soul – like wings, how akin she is to human things.” – H.W. Longfellow

A friend of mine sent this quote to me as a New Year’s greeting. I like it. Apart from its simple yet meaningful message, it makes me wish I read more books. I always find myself visiting bookstores and browsing around, wishing I had either more time or interest in reading.

How often do I find myself wishing I was more of one thing and less of another? How often do you?

The other day I asked another friend what his new year’s resolutions were. I’ve been thinking of my own lately. And then I realized how significant celebrating the New Year is. It gives everyone a chance to start anew. To change things about themselves, to make up for things they wish they hadn’t done, to try new things, to commit to something…

A fresh start. How very encouraging! 2007, the year of the pig. How ironic that one of my resolutions is to eat less pork! Haha! J

“Sometimes, in the middle of an apparently endless battle, the Warrior has an idea and he manages to triumph in a matter of seconds.

Then he thinks: ‘Why did I labor for so long over a battle that could have been resolved with only half the energy I spent on it?’

The truth is that all problems seem very simple once they have been resolved. The great victory, which appears so simple today, was the result of a series of small victories that went unnoticed.

Then the Warrior understands what happened and he sleeps easy. Far from blaming himself for having taken so long to arrive, he is simply glad to know that he did arrive in the end.”

- Warrior of the Light by Paulo Coelho

I was taking a look at my finances yesterday and I realized that I didn’t save as much as I would ideally have liked this past year. I felt bad for not more than a couple of seconds because it came to me that although I could have saved more, I would have missed out on so many other things. Looking back, I wouldn’t trade the trips I made, the things I did and how I spent my money for anything. These to me are my riches, not just for this year, but for the rest of my life.

As I tried to plan my finances for the coming year, I started out computing my target savings per month. But again, I found myself making exceptions for more trips I want to make, more things I want to do and other things I’d like to spend my money on. In the end I came to a compromise. Yes, I would save more; I would be more frugal when it comes to my spending habits. But still I know that there are some things worth breaking the piggy bank for. Some things are worth more than money. Trips I dare not miss and things I would make sure to do, no matter the cost. And by the end of next year, how ever much I’ve saved, I will look back without regret.

Things I love but fear I’ll lose as I get older:

1. Roller coasters: I love riding roller coasters. I once went to an amusement park and spent the day riding every single roller coaster there (well, the ones that weren’t under repair at least). I love the rush, the feel of my heart pounding with every sudden rise and fall, the wind on my face, even gripping the handle bars for dear life. But lately, I find myself thinking twice, even trice before I ride a roller coaster. This to me is a sign that I’m getting old. And I sure do miss the sheer recklessness of it.

2. Fireworks: for some unknown reason to me, I love watching a fireworks display light up the night sky. It must be the burst of color. It’s like it takes me back to when I was a kid, sort of like the feeling when I was 7 or 8 years old and Christmas is drawing near. That kind of excitement. It fills me with happiness and before I know it, I have a really silly smile on my face.

3. Laughter: I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. Thankfully, for this one, I know I haven’t lost it yet. But still, I’m afraid that as years pass, the more I see, the more I experience and learn, the less there might be to laugh about. However, I think I will put up a very strong fight before I lose this one. =)

4. The Firsts: as they say, there’s always a first time for everything. And to me, there’s something really enjoyable about experiencing a first. Some firsts I greatly enjoyed: my first car, my first travel with friends, my first promotion, my first paycheck, my first love letter =P, and so many more. Even the firsts that brought the negative stuff were still worth it. I know that right now, there are still so many first out there waiting for me, but really though, how many more first will there be left as I get older?

These are just a few that I can think of right now. And although I am still young, relatively at least, I feel like time always, always makes its presence known, right behind you, running after you. And there’s no point trying to run faster away from it because if you do that, you’d only be speeding time up. It’s a catch-22. J

How about you? What things do you love and know you’ll miss?

I found this in my old college notebook. I guess I wrote this some time ago but for the life of me, I do not remember what it means, or whose experience I am talking about. I found it really funny though, how dramatic I was trying to sound. Suffice to say, I’m not a poet! Hahahah!

We have no full control of what ultimately happens to us in life. What we have is an illusion of control. Most people try to live their lives with a sense of purpose. Granted, there are degrees of intensity to their purpose. Some are ambitious and aim for greatness. Some are greedy and search for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. While others are just plain self-indulgent and do things for the perks. Different goals for different people. But really, we have no full control of what happens next.

One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re drowning in problems. Today you’re as strong as a bull, tomorrow you’re holding on for dear life. You can open your eyes and be in the arms of the one you love, but in a blink you can be thousands of miles apart.

Life has a way of surprising you and biting you in ass. And its bite really stings sometimes.

So don’t just live life in anticipation of tomorrow but live it for the present. Enjoy every minute because when it’s gone, you’ll never get it back. And despite just having an illusion of control, grab it and keep a firm grip because we need to believe that we can at least steer our own fate.

the absence of something speaks as loud as the presence of it…or at least it should.