Archive for October, 2006

hmmm… did i write this?

Sunday, October 15th, 2006

I found this in my old college notebook. I guess I wrote this some time ago but for the life of me, I do not remember what it means, or whose experience I am talking about. I found it really funny though, how dramatic I was trying to sound. Suffice to say, I’m not a poet! Hahahah!

You feed me false affection

You grant me borrowed attention

I am your toy

You play with my emotions

You cloud my better judgment

You make me wish I was someone else

Someone I despise

Someone I hate…because that someone has you.

And the worst part of it all is that you do these things, but you do not know you do

Because I do it for you

Because I stand willingly, on the edge of our friendship,

Tempting myself to jump

Taunting myself to fall…

illusion of control

Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

We have no full control of what ultimately happens to us in life. What we have is an illusion of control. Most people try to live their lives with a sense of purpose. Granted, there are degrees of intensity to their purpose. Some are ambitious and aim for greatness. Some are greedy and search for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. While others are just plain self-indulgent and do things for the perks. Different goals for different people. But really, we have no full control of what happens next.

One minute you’re on top of the world, the next you’re drowning in problems. Today you’re as strong as a bull, tomorrow you’re holding on for dear life. You can open your eyes and be in the arms of the one you love, but in a blink you can be thousands of miles apart.

Life has a way of surprising you and biting you in ass. And its bite really stings sometimes.

So don’t just live life in anticipation of tomorrow but live it for the present. Enjoy every minute because when it’s gone, you’ll never get it back. And despite just having an illusion of control, grab it and keep a firm grip because we need to believe that we can at least steer our own fate.